kairos
by thistableforone
Summary: Her smirk is reassuring and, in spite of that, Kate shrugs, looking at the ground. She's powerless. It just took a cute, soft girl to turn her into a weak, timid mess. (Maura/Kate)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I'm not good with long stories. I lose interest very quickly, I'm quite busy and I'll be even busier in September, plus English is not even my first language. This means that I can't assure I'll ever complete this fic. I'm not even sure where this is going. But I'll do my best.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

There's a very specific way the heart beats while you dance to the loud music. The deafening sound dictates the rhythm and cuts out every other noise. The body, drunk on abandon, will ignore every restriction and sway nonchalantly among the other bodies.

Kate is one of tens of people tipsily grinding against someone. She doesn't mind to ask him his name, his hands are free to wonder and touch until she'll get bored and will walk out of his reach. She actually likes his shady blue eyes and his dark hair, the smoothness of his locks, the way he just lets her play him around. But his features are still those of a young boy; he's hesitant, timid in the way he watches her.

He's not the first man she intimidates.

She's thinking she might be able to teach him something tonight – how to be confident but not frightening, or how to surrender and shut off his mind – when Maddie makes her way toward her on wobbly feet.

She smirks and laughs loudly when she sees her, but Kate just keeps on dancing with her back to the boy and reaches out for her friend. She lets her head fall backward to the chest behind her while Madison presses to her front, she closes her eyes and feels their hands touching along her sides, both their breaths on her skin.

When she opens her eyes again, Maddie is already walking backward; Kate turns, whispers a smooth _thanks for the dance_ in the boy's ear and then reaches for her friend's hand.

The boy stands stunned in the spot left empty while they make their way out of the crowd, grazing for the last moments at their backs, their legs, before being sucked back in the mass.

They fall with the heavy thud on a sofa, Madison's laugh triggering Kate's, their bodies buzzing in bliss and energy. Maddie's head drops to rest on her shoulder, her hand drawing soothing patterns on Kate's thigh, their breaths still heavy.

She should have worn the black dress that matches with Maddie's red instead of the black, ripped jeans and t-shirt that now cling to her skin too heavily. The warm of the place and the harsh smell of bodies and beer makes it hard to breath.

She looks around, observes the place, and she's considering taking a walk out when she spots her.

She's just a figure on a stool, turning her back to Kate while she talks to a guy, her blonde, soft curls fall down her shoulders. The low light make it hard to be sure, but Kate is almost certain the girl at the counter is wearing a skin-tight blue dress, the hem doesn't even reach her knee cap, the fabric is stretched along her thighs. The heels she's wearing appear black from Kate's distance. Apart from the fact that she's probably the most put-together girl in the place and her profile looks exquisite from here, it shouldn't affect Kate too much.

But it does. She draws her attention. Kate forgets about Maddie, the music, the warmth as she studies her. Besides her graceful limbs and her elegant being, there's something disturbing in the picture.

It's not her.

It's him. The guy who is trying to talk to her. He smiles a lot, while she just answers politely. He asks something to the bartender but she shakes her head, refuses, without even turning fully toward him.

"Do you know who she is?" she asks to Maddie, turning to her and shifting her gaze just enough to make her understand who she is talking about.

Madison lifts her head from her shoulder and squints her eyes, studying her for a moment before shrugging.

"I've seen her around campus. Oh, and at an event, but I don't remember which. She's always alone, though, never seen her talking to anybody".

Kate's already on her feet – already shifted out of Madison's half hug – when the blonde girl turns around, searching desperately for someone. She doesn't see her approach and Kate's not absolutely certain of what she is doing, nor why she is doing it, but she knows she can't back off.

For a moment she considers the idea of punching him in the face and erase that ridiculous grin from his mouth. But maybe she can find a way to help the girl out without necessarily embarrassing her.

As Kate moves between the bodies and toward her, her features become sharper, more defined. Her mind updates the mental image of the young woman with each step she takes. Her hands quiver at her side, her usual self-esteem and determination falter for a woman she has never met before.

She's still turning her back to her when Kate circles her shoulders with her arm.

"Hey, babe," Kate says, loudly enough for the man to hear, smiling without even looking at him.

The girl's head spins around immediately, stiffness settle in her back as she searched her face, the soft curls tickles her skin. Her hazel eyes grow wider, surprised and skeptical, but Kate finds herself mesmerized by her iris, her questioning look and the cute frown on her face, so near.

Kate just smiles softly and leans in enough to whisper _Play along._ Her perfume fills her nostrils, there's a hint of vanilla and rose on her neck. Kate sees her breath catch and she hesitates. There's an urge, deep down in her belly, that almost convinces Kate to leave a kiss right below her ear.

She retreats, ashamed of her thoughts, but quickly regains her composure. She leaves her hand on the blonde's back and still feels her eyes watching her while she turns to the man and fakes surprise.

"Do we know each other?" she asks. "I'm Kate Beckett, her girlfriend," she says, offering him her other hand.

He eyes it suspiciously without accepting it, his eyes hard and guarded while he shifts his gaze from her to the girl.

"She didn't mention being with someone," he answers.

"Did you ask her?" she replies. He narrows his eyes, doesn't even flinch but his silence is enough for an answer. She's reconsidering the punch when a hand grasp her arm, her muscles ripple at the touch and she can't help but turn to the blonde she's dying to name.

Her eyes are soft now, thankful and Kate just shakes her head.

"You're right," she says, "let's get out of here."

Kate holds her hand while she turns to Maddie and mouths her an _out_. Her friend just smiles and nods, and when turns back the girl is taking her purse and sliding her black jacket off the stool.

They walk past the man hand in hand.

* * *

Kate lingers.

For just a moment, that is, but she does. She knows she should let go of the hand she's holding as soon as they close the door behind them. Instead, she lightens her grip gradually, her skin warm and smooth, until their linked fingertips eventually lose their hold and let them fall apart.

Kate's eyes are still watching the hand now hanging on the girl's side when she hears her laugh. The sound is rich and genuine and polite. She's not sure if she's laughing at her but she finds herself entranced, delighted.

Apparently this gorgeous girl has a weird effect on her.

"I'm sorry," it's the only thing Kate says, adjusting her locks behind her ears, her eyes meeting hers shyly.

Usually she's sassy, bold, not shy nor embarrassed – no, definitely not the latest. The girl is not intimidating, not cold, and not brazen. And Kate doesn't even like girls.

So why is she reacting like this?

"No, _I'm_ sorry," the blonde says – still smiling – and how is her voice so sweet? "I shouldn't have laughed, it was inconsiderate of me. It's just… you don't even know my name and yet your performance as my jealous girlfriend was very convincing."

Her smirk is reassuring and, in spite of that, Kate shrugs, looking at the ground. She's powerless. It just took a cute, soft girl to turn her into a weak, timid mess.

"I meant to say, thank you. I'm really grateful for your help", she says, searching for her eyes. "I'm Maura Isles, for the record".

She extends her hand and Kate can't help but accept it as quickly as she can, incapable of controlling her urge to hold her hand again.

 _Maura_. She tests it in her mouth, whispers it like a fool. The name feels rich and golden between her lips, the sound completing the picture of her like the missing piece of a puzzle, perfectly fitting between her blonde curls and her expensive dress.

"Kate Beckett," she answers, before letting her hand go for the second time with a feel of void.

"Well, Kate, I think… maybe you should head back inside to your real girlfriend, I'll just take a cab and go home".

 _Real girlfriend?_

Kate must have said it out loud because she – _Maura_ – fidgets with her hands, her fingers turning her ring around and around, the frown she saw before reappearing, making her look unsure.

"I might have seen you dance," she admits quietly. "Actually, I was not the only one. I envied you. You were so uninhibited, so free, so beautiful."

Kate must be blushing, she feels an odd rush of warmth creeping up her neck and cheeks. Maura's direct. More than expected, more than her appearance lets anticipate. It's not uncomfortable, though. I doesn't seem like she's saying it to please her. It looks natural, already so very _her_.

"I saw you with that guy, but there was nothing. With her, however..."

"Maura," Kate calls.

When she looks up, Kate realizes there's something Maura hides deep down or tries to mask with her clothes. There's a determination and strength in her eyes she doesn't often see, an intensity that should be out of place instead of fitting.

"There's no girlfriend. Maddie's my best friend, we do this when we want to have fun but not actually go home with someone" she explains.

Maura tilts her head to the side, almost offended.

"Well, that is not very polite of you," she admonishes.

"I don't think what he was thinking about me was very polite either, Maura".

Maura doesn't reply, but she searches her face, studies her eyes, while Kate stares back, motionless. Kate doesn't know what Maura's looking for, but she must have found it because she relaxes, her expression softens, her lips turn upward slightly.

Kate decides not to question her actions for tonight, this girl seems rare and remarkable and she's not willing to pass the opportunity to know her just because she's not used to doing this.

So she offers Maura her arm, the other hand in her pocket while Maura stares at her warily.

"Come on, I'll walk you home. And I'll make sure you don't think I'm rude anymore".

Maura accepts it, eventually.

* * *

 **TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Maura likes to talks.

She explains and argues and answers back. She spent the last ten minutes describing to Kate how she thinks her field of study will give her a purpose in life, how forensic science holds major responsibility in the success of a homicide investigation. Kate listens in silence, marveling at how passionate she is, how deeply she believes in what she is studying, how in love she sounds.

While Kate believes deeply in justice and is quite good at Law, she is sure she's not as passionate as Maura seems. She wouldn't sound like Law is her whole life, her eyes wouldn't beam like Maura's.

She decides not to question it, though – not now at least. Not when Maura is still holding on her arm, her hair waving with every step she takes, her smile still adorning her mouth and a dimple still gracing her left cheek.

She really is beautiful.

"You're staring, Kate. It's because I'm being too prolix as usual, isn't it?" Maura asks, shying away from her gaze, but never letting go of Kate's arm.

"No, it's not. You're being passionate. That's attractive," she easily answers. It's only when Maura raises her head and she sees the questioning look on her face and the slight raise of her eyebrows that she realizes what she just admitted.

"So you find me attractive?" Maura inquiries, smirking.

Kate turns fully toward her, their walk coming to a stop. Her confession came so natural and honest that she didn't filter it, just let it reach her mouth and hang in the air. And now Maura is waiting for her answer, her grasp still firm on her.

"I meant to say…" Kate stutters, only to find Maura's eyes fixed on her, so clear and naive and open. She doesn't really need to lie to her.

"No, I meant to say what I said. I find you talking about what you love pretty attractive. And yes, you in general, as well".

Kate smiles briefly at Maura, before resuming walking and looking straight ahead. Despite the effort, her stomach aches a little while she waits for her reaction – anxiety always fills her belly when she reveals something risky. Not that she has ever said something like that to a girl.

"Thank you," Maura whispers. "You are, too, Kate".

"You don't have to return a compliment, you know?" Kate smirks, but Maura doesn't even flinch or feel offended.

"Kate, it would be physically impossible for me to say something I don't believe in. I'd get urticaria, particularly on my neck, and then proceed to hyperventilate. I could eventually faint," she admits.

Kate turns to look at her, her profile backlit and defined, no smile adorning her lips. There is no delight nor sadness in her features, just her blank face, her blonde hair coming down on her shoulders in long waves.

"Does this mean I could ask you anything and you would have to be completely honest with me?"

"Yes," Maura replies. "But I'd like if you didn't. People prefer to hear something that pleases them, even if fake, rather than the truth".

At that, Kate wonders back to the moment she first saw her earlier that night and can't help but think what would have happened if she hadn't been around. If the guy had asked Maura whether she was in a relationship, she would have answered with a no. He would have continued, then, encouraged, even more insistent – her mind stops there.

She also realizes Maura didn't say a word when she pretended to be her girlfriend. She was aware she wouldn't have been able to _play along_ as Kate told her to.

Hence she trusted her.

Even without knowing her.

* * *

They're both silent.

A light breeze caresses their backs and makes its way under Kate's t-shirt, the streets are almost empty, quiet. As if they were trying to be respectful.

The silence should feel heavy, a burden, not normal and comfortable as it actually seems. During their walk, she stole glances of Maura, she studied her in the dim light, not even trying to be subtle. Maura didn't seem to be disturbed by her attention, Kate saw her smiling a couple of times while she looked at her, pleased and relaxed, not directly acknowledging her interest.

Maura looked at her, too. A smile appeared on her mouth, slow and tentative, while her eyes scanned her features, her face, her neck; she dropped her gaze and shook her head slightly then, but her grin didn't fade.

Madison told her she always saw Maura alone. This accommodating, weird, graceful creature that spent her night on her arm, in silence, looking like she has never been more at peace – alone.

Not having anyone to call late at night, not having anyone to witness her laugh, not having anyone to make her feel loved.

She looks full, though – of tenderness and devotion and soul.

And she looks tired of having it wasted or overlooked.

Kate knows she's making everything up, imagining something that maybe isn't. Maybe she's content anyway, maybe she's grateful already, maybe she feels cherished nonetheless.

But it's just so _easy_ for Kate to picture herself receiving her affection and returning it, innocently taking care of her, patiently listening to her when she needs it. She wants to make up for other's blindness and failure, show her which mind-blowing feelings the world has been withholding from her till now.

Kate straightens her arm then and guides Maura's hand down, their shoulders bumping and their eyes meeting while their fingers interlock.

* * *

"Are you from California?" Maura asks when they near the Stanford's dorms. There are a few more people walking around here, almost just students like them. Kate recognizes some. Even if walking hand in hand with a girl is unusual for her, she doesn't let go.

Actually, she feels proud – for no apparent reason – and raises her head a little more fiercely.

"No, I'm from Manhattan," she answers, turning to her for a moment. "What about you?"

"Boston. I grew up there, even if I lived in Paris for some time. Never really felt like home, though."

Kate gasps, making Maura's head turn toward her, taken aback.

"So you speak French?" Kate asks, surprised, her eyes twinkle and her lips part as she looks at Maura. Maura grins at her reaction, almost childish but so candid. For a moment she thinks Kate will wrap her up in her arms just for that.

"I can also speak Latin, Greek, a little of Serbian and I'm learning Italian," she says, amazed by the effect that has on Kate. Her knowledge never really appealed anybody before.

"Please, tell me you'll teach me some of each. I can trade with a bit of Russian?" Kate begs, stopping walking and taking both of her hands in hers, her skin warm and smooth on hers.

She's still smiling so brightly.

"Is that what charms you, Kate?" Maura inquiries, smirking softly. "Foreign languages?"

Kate's eyes flick down to her lips for the briefest moment, before locking with Maura's again.

"Maybe," she whispers. "And people with beautiful minds."

Kate's lingers for another moment, before letting go completely of Maura's hands for the first time since they left the bar. She starts walking with her back to her and Maura has to take two longer steps to reach her side again.

"So," Kate says, completely changing the subject, "where are you staying?"

"I'm living with two other girls in an apartment in Mirrielees House. Here, around the corner."

Kate can see the entrance from here, just a few more minutes and she will have to say goodnight.

"You can afford that?" she asks, without malice.

"Yes. But sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out on the dorm life," she answers. "Although it's probably similar."

"Dorm has its pros and cons, but you should consider yourself lucky."

Maura smiles to her, progressively slowing down and turning to face her when they reach the entry. They study each other for a moment, committing the present to memory, just a step separating them.

"It was lovely meeting you, Maura," Kate says, smiling and nodding when Maura returns the compliment. "I admit the night was unusual for me, but you…"

Maura waits, patiently, rocking of her feet, probably without realizing it. She fears what Kate might say after. She knows people don't like her, but Kate seems different. She did, at least, when she listened to her and smiled and held her hand. She also is gorgeous, and comfortable, not arrogant.

"I want to know you better," Kate finally admits, making Maura breathe out a little more calmly. Maura knows she's probably mirroring the smile that adorns Kate's lips and can't help but realize how easy it has been to do so with this girl all night long.

Her cheeks almost hurt.

"Do you have a pen?" Kate asks suddenly, making Maura's grin fade and the questioning look of earlier reappear, her brows furrow and her head waves a bit backward. Without replying, she digs into her purse, her hand moving straight to where she knows she'll find it, her hair hiding her face from Kate.

Maura watches her cautiously as she hands her the pen and Kate uncaps it. Maura almost misses Kate's smirk and before she can ask her anything Kate closes her fingers around her right wrist and pulls, stretching her arm toward her.

The contact makes them both shiver, the goosebumps clearly evident on Maura's skin. Kate bends, her hair making it impossible for Maura to see and the tip starts to move against her flesh.

She hears Maura hiss a _Kate_ , asking her what she's doing, her arm trembling slightly. Is this what she sounds like when she's annoyed? She sounds cute, anyway, pouting like a little child.

Although she is a little taken aback, Maura feels her heart swell, her chest expand; Kate's manners makes her eyes water. She is aware she's being silly, completely irrational, but everyone is always so distant, so cautious around her, never touching, never daring her. People always keep her at arm's length, careful of every word they speak or gesture they make.

Kate isn't afraid of her. Of looking directly into her eyes, of taking her hand.

Of writing on her.

Kate straightens her back, smiling proudly as she lets her look. A telephone number is written is a simple handwriting and makes its way from her wrist to the inside of her elbow.

"You could have asked for my phone, you know?"

"Yeah, that's boring," Kate answers, dropping the pen back into Maura's purse.

"Don't leave me waiting," Kate whispers, inching nearer. She grins for the last time before turning her back to her, her pacing clearly faster than before, letting Maura follow her every move until she rounds the corner.

That night, Maura falls asleep with her skin still blue and Kate's number in front of her eyes.

* * *

 **TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Kate looks at herself in the mirror.

Her hair is still damp from the shower, her skin wet. Some droplets follow invisible patterns down her collarbones, along her chest, under the towel wrapped around her. The light of the bathroom mirror makes her eyes harsh, intensifies her features and makes them sharper.

Her hair looks darker, her skin paler. A pleasing contrast.

Staring at her image, she wonders if Maura looks even softer in the morning, with her messy hair and her sleepy face. Would she be grumpy like her? How would she like her coffee? Or would she prefer tea?

 _Please, let it be coffee._

A sharp knock on the door echoes in the small bathroom. Why is she even thinking about these things? She met her less than twelve hours ago. And still, she wants her questions answered. She already craves to know her favorite color, the name of the perfume she smelled on her neck, the book she can't stop reading.

It's innocent, she tells herself, plain curiosity.

"Kate, I'm going to pick the lock," Madison shouts from outside.

She is leaning against the doorframe when Kate opens the door, her arms crossed over her chest, a sly smirk on her lips. She walks past her without acknowledging her, her steps fast while she heads for her closet.

"So, are you going to ignore me or tell me how it was?" Madison asks, turning to her, still grinning.

"How was what?" Kate replies, searching for a clean t-shirt and a pair of pants that would go with it.

"The sex with another girl," Maddie replies, bold and mischievous as always. She takes a step toward her when Kate turns to her and shushes her, her cheeks flushing as she denies.

"Okay, no sex. How is she then? Pompous, diffident, know-it-all?" Madison tries. "Boring?"

She stresses the last adjective and Kate knows that's what everyone thinks of Maura. As she turns again to Madison and narrows her eyes at her, Kate feels the insult insinuate under her skin.

How many times must Maura have heard it? How much time must it have taken for her to believe them, to slowly distance herself and accept their words as true? It makes sense now, the way last night Maura kept asking her if she was sure, if she didn't prefer to head back inside.

 _You don't have to_ , repeated so many times.

"Maura's kind," Kate replies, heartily and frankly, emphasizing her name. "Smart. Interesting. Passionate."

Madison raises her hands in surrender and Kate sighs, her face relaxes as she turns back toward her clothes. Maddie keeps watching her, tough, studying her as she wiggles her legs into her ripped jeans. She drops the towel and slides into a black, Metallica t-shirt, not bothering with a bra, gathering her hair up to pull it out of the top.

Kate is fierce. And protective.

But she doesn't grow fond of people easily. She's reserved, guarded. Does Maura know how much time it took for Kate to open up with Madison? And yet, in a night Maura got Kate to stand up for her, to defend her.

She doesn't know what Kate saw in that blonde girl last night, or why she seems already so attached; she knows there's something, though. Something she doesn't have the courage to name. She saw the look Kate gave her when she offended the girl, how important she made her name sound – _Maura_ , if she's not mistaken.

Already so proud.

Kate checks her phone, stares at the screen for a moment before forcing it in her pocket. She slips into her black sneakers, slides her leather jacket from the chair and takes her bag from the floor with the other hand.

 _Be careful_ , Madison whispers as she watches Kate go.

* * *

The monotone voice of her professor is but a passing background noise.

His eyes never leave his sheets of paper, he rhythmically taps his pen on the wooden surface of his desk. It's wearing to try to follow his lecture, his cadence both repetitive and slow.

He's not enough to erase from her mind the image of the deep hazel eyes that kept staring at her last night. It's dizzy not to be able to stop, her stomach has ached since she woke up and failed to find a reason to text her.

Maura considered just sending her a greeting to let her have her number, or try with an offer for lunch or invite her to one of her nights at the theater. Everything sounded too dump or dull to send her anything, though. She doesn't know what Kate likes. A part of her mind kept reminding her that she couldn't be sure Kate even liked her for real.

Still lying on her bed, she kept over-thinking, knowing it was futile to analyze again her tone of voice or the line of her mouth, the movements of her irises.

She considered the idea of not contacting her at all. Kate would forget her easily and Maura could bear the remorse. What she can't stand is rejection. What would Kate's _no_ mean? That even the kindest of them all isn't interested in spending time with her.

The thought of Kate walked with her along the university's hallways and set beside her at this tedious lesson. Still hasn't abandoned her. Meeting Kate could turn out to be one of the best incidents of her life – or, at worse, a meaningless occurrence.

It's naïve, and irrational, but something about Kate fascinates her.

No, she couldn't live with the remorse.

* * *

It's past nine in the evening when Maura finally dials her number.

During the day she made a list of things she could have texted her. They weren't many and she crossed them all off immediately after. Her logical side told her there was no real reason to doubt Kate liked her: her kindness was natural and the first impression she gave her was positive.

She gave up, then. She revised her lesson, went to yoga and then ate with her roommates. But when she flopped on her bed and glanced at the time, she knew she couldn't postpone anymore.

Sitting cross legged on her bed, worrying the nail of her thumb with her teeth, she waits and listens to the digital rings echoing in her ear. She doesn't know what she'll say, but maybe Kate will make it easier for her with her voice.

A sudden white silence and a _hello?_ on the other side follow and make her freeze.

Kate's voice sounds different. Deeper and darker, distant. But intense.

Maura finds herself smiling as the rich tone fills her ears and goes to her bones. Kate repeats her _hello?_ , slower and more tentative. Her voice dulls her sense, she forgets she should answer and wishes she could just listen.

"Maura?" Kate whispers.

She likes the way she says her name: with such attention and strength, cherishing it.

"Hi, Kate," she answers. Kate sighs, breathing out, relieved, and for a moment she wonders if Maura can hear her smile. "How are you?"

"Now I'm good," Kate lets out instantly. It would be meaningless to lie about it: she spent her day questioning her actions and thinking maybe she would have never heard from her again.

"I'm sorry, for not calling earlier."

"No, don't be. I'm just glad you did eventually."

"I am, too," Maura mutters.

There's silence after that, she hears Kate move, sheets shifting on the other end, her own legs stretching in front of her to keep her mind occupied. She bends them then and plops her arm on her knees, her fingers playing with her hair.

"I have no idea how to do this," Maura admits. "I want to know you, too. But I don't want to force it, I don't want it to feel like a test. And I don't want to feel anxious about every little thing I do with you or say to you."

"I agree," Kate replies sweetly. "So… how does calling feel?"

"Good, I suppose."

Her answer is uncertain but Kate can hear her grin, almost childishly. She can imagine her dimple in the low light, how easy it would be to reach out and stroke it. Maybe Maura would lean into her palm, trapping her between her cheek and her shoulder.

"Then we can keep doing this, when we feel like it. And we can text. About anything, just to share: silly things, meaningless things. Maybe we can see where that leaves us and decides if we want more?"

"Is that what people do?" Maura asks, furrowing her brows even if Kate can't see her. She hears her murmur a faint _no_ andimmediately regrets her question, she knows she made Kate blush, self-conscious.

"But we don't have to do it like others, right?" Kate whispers.

"No, we don't."

Maura raises her eyes from her comforter, her image in the mirror greets her on the opposite wall. She looks small, and she's smiling a smile she recognizes: it's the one she had when she was little and begged to have her hair braided, jumping around the house and tugging incessantly on her mom's skirt.

She felt so pretty after.

She never let anyone else do her braids.

"You make me feel lightheaded," Maura admits, quietly. "Which is a sensation that occurs when the level of sugar in your blood is low, you are on the flu, or the body is dehydrated or at short of oxygen. So it looks like there is no relation between what I'm feeling and what my body is experiencing, which is highly implausible."

Kate doesn't answers, just stares into the dark, thinking about what Maura has said. She likes her innocence, the way she seems not to realize fully what she is admitting.

"Wow," she finally murmurs. "That's a very interesting way to tell me I make you lose your breath."

"Kate, it would be impossible to make one's _lose_ their breath," she answers, solemn and logical. There's a moment of silence and Kate grins into the back of her hand, she can almost hear Maura reconsidering her sentence, all concentrated and confused. "Unless… unless you meant it rhetorically."

"I did," Kate answers, her lips still upturned. "But thank you for clarifying that."

Maura sighs into her ear, shifting a little before replying.

"I don't usually understand idioms or slang words, Kate," she says, her voice dropping and her smile fading. "Awkward moments always follow."

"Nobody ever taught them to you, that's all," Kate clarifies, worrying the hem of her t-shirt with her fingers. She wonders if she should comfort her, tell her people are daft and ridiculous. But it would be lame. Maura craves to fit in, she just needs to be accepted.

"Okay, so you could teach me French and Italian and I could teach you slang and Russian, right?"

"Is that a ruse to see me again?" Maura asks and Kate can almost hear the grin deep down in her voice, threatening to break free on her lips.

"Of course it is," she whispers sweetly. She finds extremely easy to spill the truth to her, as if her inability to tell lies had penetrated in her own bones. Sincere answers and an honest affection are probably the only things she can give her, after all.

"I would do anything to see you again."

* * *

When Maura wakes up the next morning and checks the time, there's a text popping up on the screen of her phone.

From Kate.

 _By the way, you make me lose my breath, too._

* * *

 **TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Calling turned out not to be enough quite quickly.

Hearing each other's voices at the end of the day was pleasing, soothing, but it lacked the spark of the first night, the thrill of being near. Speaking over a phone was nothing like witnessing a smile break free after saying something or letting their hands bump again each other and finally intertwine them.

It lasted four days.

On Friday, Maura rocks on her feet, checking the time, the strap of her bag resting on her shoulder, making it hang on her side. Kate let her decide for their first real meeting and she chose a safe place: one she was familiar with and didn't require forced talking to fill the silence.

But it let an option open for the evening to continue somewhere else.

When Maura lifts her eyes from the ground, she recognizes the woman jogging toward her, her own bag in her hand, her ponytail swaying from one side to the other. Kate smiles when she spots her, her hand waving a little, making Maura's stomach flip over and her fingers return the gesture.

"I'm sorry," Kate says as soon as she stops a few steps away from Maura. "I'm last minute, I know, I got caught up with-"

Her eyes scan Maura's features, her bright eyes and her gentle grin. She see Kate exhale, closing her eyes for a moment before returning the smile.

"Hi," she finally whispers.

"Hello, Kate," Maura murmurs back. She notices Kate's hands quiver at her side, her gaze shifts from one eye to the other as her smile falters. Kate's taller than her when Maura isn't wearing heels and her body is so near, for a moment Maura thinks about closing the distance and mold herself against her.

Instead, her hand reaches out for Kate's in a known gesture, smiling briefly at her before turning back and leading her toward the entrance with her.

The red haired girl in the lobby greets them, recognizing them both as usual clients and informs them the instructor has just arrived and is going to start in a few minutes. Maura lets Kate go just when they make it to the changing rooms.

She follows her as Maura sets her bag on a bench and starts to take off her shoes, looking back at her and inviting her nearer; Kate takes place beside her a few seconds later.

Maura gathers her hair up in a high ponytail, her curls barely touching her shoulders. While she waits for Kate to change, she lets her eyes wander on the figure next to her. She didn't notice in the dark of the night but Kate's body looks extremely fit, both athletic and strong.

Kate told her she works out almost every day, mostly running or boxing in this very same gym, she told her it's the only way for her to relax and calm down. Maura asked her about yoga, then, if she was willing to go with her sometime. She accepted almost instantly, grinning as she replied that she always wanted to try it.

 _Makes you flexible, right?_

As Maura's eyes take in her thighs, hugged by the dark, tight fabric of her leggings, she marvels at the strength they let out, the muscles so well developed. Her eyes inch higher along her back as Kate takes the hem of the t-shirt with both hands and tugs it over her head.

There's only a black, sport bra underneath, enhancing her curves and displaying her toned stomach, her collarbones prominent just enough.

"Is something wrong?" Kate asks, watching Maura as her eyes flick back up to hers. Her tone is gentle but there's a teasing underneath.

"You… just have a remarkable bone structure," Maura answers, her gaze going back down. "And well developed rectus abdominal muscles."

She lifts her eyes shyly, noticing Kate's small grin as she watches her.

"The abs," Maura clarifies, gesturing toward Kate's stomach.

"I can tense them for you," Kate teases, contracting them without waiting for her reply when she sees Maura stare down once more. Maura gasps lightly at that, almost in awe.

She does it again, smirking when she sees Maura's hands twitch. She witnessed the reactions of many men in front of her, saw the desire pool in their eyes as they stared at her and she enjoyed the feeling of power, but never in her whole life she felt as adored as now.

Maura's attention is almost clinical but respectful, in a way. Not uncomfortable and, she knows, not fleeting, not spur of a moment.

"I'm sorry," Maura finally says, taking a step back and looking directly into her eyes. "I didn't mean to stare. I'm glad you know how important it is to keep your body in shape."

She likes seeing Maura blush.

* * *

"Are you sure you have never done that before?" Maura asks smiling as they exit the gym, the air chilly against their hot skin, her mind completely relaxed after a whole hour of yoga. "You did almost better than me. And I've been doing this for years."

"I like challenges and I'm quite competitive," Kate answers, turning her head a little toward Maura, smirking softly. "But my muscles will make me regret it tomorrow."

"Well, I suggest a long, hot bath to relax the sore muscles and avoid the pain that comes with lactic acid," Maura replies. "A glass of red wine to go with it would be ideal, too."

There's a small grin on her lips at the end of her sentence that Kate notices immediately. Maura looks innocent, pure, but in that moment Kate can tell there's something completely mature in her; she seems fully aware of who she is and what she likes, absolutely at ease with it.

"Red wine? That makes you relax?"

"It's very good for your cardiovascular system, Kate. Don't you ever drink wine?"

"I can't really afford wines worth drinking, so I go with beer," Kate answers, shrugging a little. "I'm not picky about that."

Maura turns, looking at her almost offended. She opens her mouth to reply and the closes it, her hand coming up and gesturing between them as to calm her nerves.

"If you think you can replace wine with beer, than you haven't tried the right one. We have to remedy that as soon as possible," Maura says, definitive and direct. "I assure you you won't ever go back to beer."

Kate watches her as she smiles proudly, her head raised a little more fiercely.

"I think I'm not going to go back to more than just beer thanks to you."

* * *

 _I was thinking you are probably wilder than me._

 _I am not._

 _Looks don't fool me, Maura. You just haven't found the right person to dive into that side of you yet._

 _Hypothetically speaking, would you be that person?_

 _Guess we'll have to wait and find out._

* * *

 _Why do you even consider yourself wild, Kate?_

 _Because._

 _Because you wear what I suppose are band t-shirts and dance with random guys?_

 _Is that an offense?_

 _I just don't think that qualifies as wild. That's perfectly normal._

 _I got married in Vegas and divorced immediately after… and other things I'm not going to tell you for now._

 _Sex-related things? It's completely natural to have sexual desires and diverse intercourse._

 _You see why you're wilder than me?_

 _That's not wild. Wild doesn't mean not-widespread. I think you use that adjective to excuse your tastes, although there is nothing wrong with what you like and therefore no need to hide your likings._

 _I'm difficult to control. So I'm wild._

 _That's disobedience. Someone considers it a virtue._

… _people are missing out on you._

 _XX_

* * *

 _I'm glad I'm not people._

* * *

 _Kate, I'm thinking according to your definition of wild I should be considered wild as well._

… _Go on._

 _I got married in Vegas, too. Two years ago. And divorced the next day._

 _Are you serious?_

 _Yes. I did it as a rebellious act against his disapproving mother. And I rode naked, to protest against fund cuts._

 _Now you're showing off._

 _No, I'm not._

 _I knew you were wilder than me._

* * *

 _Maura, are you free on Sunday?_

 _What is happening on Sunday?_

 _Depends on your answer._

 _Well, I have an exam in two weeks, so I was planning on studying._

 _I'm sure you already studied everything._

 _Revising is just as important, Kate._

 _Dress comfy. I'm going to pick you up at ten in the morning._

 _What do you mean?_

 _If you are really going to deny my offer, you'll have to do it in person._

* * *

 **TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It's 9:50 AM when her phone rings, a single beep alerting her of the arrival of a text message. She tries to ignore it in favor of the book of anatomy she has been studying on since she wake up two hours ago.

She's determined to ignore it, but then the phone rings again and she reaches out for it without even trying to stop.

 _I'm outside your room._

 _If you open the door with your eyes open I will never talk to you again._

She inhales, deeply, letting her eyelashes drop, enveloping her in a complete darkness for a few moments. She should refuse whatever Kate has arranged for them. She should tell her no for the tenth time, ask her to reschedule after the exam so both can enjoy it.

When she opens her eyes again and rises from her chair, she closes the book resting on her desk. She won't be able to say no to Kate, it's useless to try to fight it.

When she swings the door open, she does have her eyes closed and a faked annoyed expression on her face that Kate finds adorable. She takes Maura's hands in hers, the sudden gesture makes Maura freeze for a moment. She tugs her gently toward her, some steps are enough to make her come outside completely.

"Can I close the door? Do you have your keys?" she asks, almost whispering. Maura only nods, her expression slightly worried now – anxious, actually. Her eyeballs flick from right to left behind her eyelashes as Kate momentarily takes her hands away to close the door.

She hears Kate move behind her, closer than she's ever been. Her lips fall open as she waits. There's a sudden rush of warmth as she notices the perfume coming from behind, less floral than hers but still sweet, extremely pleasant.

"I don't want to startle you again, so: I'm about to put one hand on your eyes and one on your shoulder, okay? I'll guide you."

Maura nods again, breathing, grateful for her forewarning. She feels Kate covering her shoulder with her palm as the other covers her eyes. She's sure Kate can feel her eyes moving against her fingers, and she answers tightening her hold on her shoulder briefly.

"I'm sure you remember, but in case you don't I'm informing you there are two steps here."

Maura lets her lead then, still a little anxious she lets Kate maneuver her and soothe her with her voice coming from behind. She knows, however, that they're walking along the sidewalk and a few steps are all it takes until they stop.

"I'm going to take my hand away from your eyes in a few seconds," Kate whispers against her hair, her front almost touching Maura's back. "You have two options. Either you open your eyes and see what's in front of you, or you keep them closed and let me describe it to you, letting me tell you what I love about it and what I want you to experience."

Kate frees her eyes without waiting for her reply, but her voice is still reverberating in her ear, soft and deep, and the only word that forms in her head is _again_. Her chest grows warm and her hands tremble as she almost begs Kate to tell her.

Kate's hands slide along her sides, resting respectfully on her hips and Maura feels her keeping space between them. Despite trying to be forward, Kate seems as nervous as her, her fingers have no hold on her and her breathing is uneven.

Maura finds solace in her tension, in the way they both feel the sparkle and try to repress it, in the awareness she's not the only one to feel restless. She hasn't named the jolt of electricity that runs between them – that seems to have since the very first time they saw each other – but she does know there is no point in resisting.

Her hands come up to cover Kate's, Maura's fingers interlock with hers and their gasp on her hips tightens.

"Tell me," Maura repeats, her voice sure and clear even if it's barely a whisper.

Kate comes nearer at that, her front progressively meets Maura's back as her lips part near her ear. Kate blinks slowly as she recognizes Maura's perfume. With her own eyes closed, she dreams for a moment of wrapping her arms around Maura, enveloping her and having her back press against her completely.

She stopped wondering why Maura makes her act like this, so deeply and imprudently, and what this means. Whatever it is, it's real and present and inevitable.

She opens her eyes and smiles briefly.

"In front of you, is a black, completely polished Harley Davidson," she murmurs, her voice slow and seductive, her breath making Maura's locks move. "I worked all through college to be able to pay for it, and let me tell you: it is the best investment I have ever made."

She works with her mouth to stress the words of importance and feels the effect when Maura tenses under her palms.

"Just imagine," she continues, "the feeling of freedom as you rush. The wind blowing in your hair. The power of controlling the bike completely, knowing it will follow your every move. The hum between your legs."

Maura breaks out in a laugh, deeply and heartily, making Kate smirk as she calls her name.

"I know you have it in you to ignore your books and accept to come with me," she continues. "I know it because, deep down, we are very, very similar. Do not resist."

Kate stays with her mouth next to her ear for a moment, before inching her head away from Maura's. She lightens her grip on her sides, but the hands keeping her in place don't let her go, making it impossible for her to distance herself properly from Maura.

She sees her breathing deeply, her hands squeeze hers briefly before she answers, confident and resolute.

"Take me somewhere."

* * *

She waits for her with her arms crossed over her chest, a leg propped up on the seat of the bike and the other on the ground for balance. She smiles as she recognizes the familiar blonde locks of the girl walking out toward her.

Maura's wearing a pair of tight, dark blue jeans, a fitting white blouse and a black leather jacket. She has her keys and her wallet in a hand, and a white, silk scarf in the other.

"So you did manage to let go of the purse after all," Kate says, rising from her seat and extending her hand to her.

"It was not easy," Maura answers, handing her her wallet, keys and phone. Maura ties her scarf around her neck and Kate smiles at her, before putting her things in the back pack near the blanket she decided to bring and her camera.

Kate turns and slides a helmet off the handlebars, offering it to her. She can identify the childish excitement that fills Maura's eyes while she loosens the strap. She looks at the bike then, slowly running her hand on the leather of the seat and then on the smooth, metallic side.

"I don't usually let people ride with me," Kate admits as she senses Maura's fear. "But I have good balance and fast reflexes. I don't drive crazily and I do know how to manage the added weight. But I understand if you still don't trust me and don't want to do this."

There's a moment of silence after Maura's gaze has found hers, where Kate realizes all over again that their eyes match: both hazel, even if Maura's look lighter.

"Please, sit," Maura says, her hand gesturing toward the bike as Kate tilts her head in question. But Maura doesn't move, so she turns, displaces the stand and swings a leg over the bike. She comes down to sit fully and turns to Maura, watching her study her in silence, her hands press the helmet against her stomach.

"I think I need to properly acknowledge you for how good you look on your bike," Maura finally says, smiling as she holds her gaze. "Very attractive."

"You have a thing for bad girls?" Kate asks teasingly as she fastens her own helmet.

Maura raises her eyebrows and watches Kate throw her head back and shake her hair out of her face. She does the same, mimicking her actions as they both put their helmets on. It feels strange to have it press around her whole head but it feels less constricting than she thought.

"Come on, a hand on my shoulder and a leg on the other side."

Maura follows, and when she straddles the bike she realizes there is no way for her to keep any distance between herself and Kate. The downturn of the seat will force her forward, against her back.

"You have to hold onto me," Kate continues, turning her head enough to be able to see her. Maura nods, unsure, and places her hands on Kate's side, tickling her involuntarily.

Kate laughs out a no and Maura stores the new information away, smiling a little. It's refreshing to see that Kate has vulnerable sides as her and that she may have the opportunity to discover them.

"No," Kate repeats, breathing evenly again, "you can't be afraid to touch me if you care about your life. Your chest has to be against my back."

Maura accomplishes, slowly resting against Kate until her breasts are pressed to her. Despite the unfamiliar situation, she notices it feels rather nice to have her in her arms: it's easy then to let her hands slide from her side to her belly, skimming over the rough denim of Kate's jacket. She intertwines her fingers on Kate's stomach and feels the calming movements caused by her breathing.

"That's better," Kate admits. "Please, do not move your hands while I'm driving."

"Where are taking me, Kate?"

"That's a surprise. Just relax and enjoy the journey," Kate replies, turning the engine on. Maura gasps behind her at that, a soft _oh_ that makes Kate smirk.

"That's the pleasing hum."

* * *

 **TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I have no idea when I'll be able to post again. I'm sorry. (P.S. Yes, I was inspired by Stana's pic on Instagram.)

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

After less than an hour, Kate turns off the engine in the parking lot. The sun is shining full force on their head, the light breeze of the morning completely vanished in favor of the warmer temperature.

She feels Maura slowly lifting her head from her back, but her hands seem reluctant to pull away. She has been a good passenger, never moving nor stirring or trying to talk over the deafening sound of the traffic.

"You brought me to a beach?" Maura asks, straightening her back and taking in the view over Kate's shoulder.

"As I told you, you had to enjoy the journey. I wanted you to experience the bike, this is just a place where I like to come."

"Well," Maura says, rising from her seat and placing her hand on Kate's shoulder for support. "I wasn't criticizing your choice. And for the record, I did enjoy the journey quite a lot."

Kate doesn't make a move to come down and just watches Maura take off her helmet, she throws her head back and shakes it, her blond curls waving in the air. She smiles as Maura's hands straighten the wrinkles on her blouse and then unties the scarf around her neck.

"How so?" she asks as she takes off her own helmet and rises.

"It was quite… exciting to see the drivers look at us," Maura answers, looking ahead, a little smirk on her mouth. Kate turns to unzip the back pack and pretends she hasn't noticed how her voice turned a little smaller.

Maura told her she can't lie, but she's sure she has developed little tricks to get herself out of bad situations, ways to tell herself she's not properly lying so she doesn't get hives. She saves her question for later, maybe when Maura is more relaxed and doesn't feel as tense as now.

"You just enjoyed having your arms around me the entire ride," Kate teases, looking at her over her shoulder for a moment. Maura laughs as Kate hands her her things. She takes her own phone, the blanket and the camera and puts them as well as she can in the helmet she's keeping at her elbow.

"You are indeed very comfortable."

Kate thanks her as she offers her the other arm and starts walking toward the beach.

* * *

"What are you doing?"

She can hear Maura falter as Kate takes off her shoes. She has placed the blanket on the sand, her helmet resting beside it, and Maura watches her remove her jacket as she stays a few steps away from her.

"Kate?" she tries again and she smirks.

"I'm taking my clothes off," she states, without letting her smile show in her voice and keeping her head down. "I'm going to take a swim."

"Are you out of your mind?" Maura answers, her tone so serious and disapproving Kate has a hard time stifling her laugh. "Kate, it's the first week of April, it's the middle of the day and anyone could walk by. Although it is a little warmer than normal it is not as hot as it would be appropriate for a swim. Plus, you don't have your swimsuit with you and riding with your hair or skin wet is highly dangerous for your health."

Kate looks up and finds her brows furrowed and her face frozen in an incredulous expression. It is almost scaring to witness her soft self turning into a very stern one, her inner dominance showing in her voice and in her posture, her hands resting on her hips and her helmet hanging from her wrist.

"It's warm enough, we'll spend the next three hours lying under the sun and it's not the first time I do this. I have a very strong immune system and if someone passes by I'll have my underwear on, so it's not like they can say anything."

"Underwear is hardly appropriate for this situation."

"You rode naked," she replies with a soft smirk, trying to soothe her staring gaze. Maura gasps, her head tilting to the side, offended. Kate doesn't let her answer: she takes the hem of her t-shirt in her hands and tugs it over head. When she looks up Maura's gaze is still firm, her eyes sharp, but she notices the way they shift from her face to her chest for a moment.

She kneels on the blanket and then moves to lie on her back, her t-shirt resting under her head and an arm coming up to cover her eyes from the sun. Maura doesn't move, just watches her from above as she breathes, the well-fitting red bra doing little to hide Kate's skin. Maura observes how the light covers her curves and reveals the slow dip at the base of her neck and the downturn of her flesh where her ribs end.

Kate scoots to the side without moving her arm from her eyes and Maura sighs. She follows her, gently comes down to lay on her left. Kate's lips are upturned when her eyes go back to her.

"Why do you like to tease me so much?" Maura asks, moving her right arm, bending it to rest under her head, no real offense in her voice.

"You're easy to tease."

"Of course I am, you seem to have a habit of taking off your t-shirt in front of me," she answers, turning to study her profile even if Kate can't see her. She tracks the slow movements of her chest, involuntarily starting to breathe at her rhythm. Instead of relaxing her, the cadence of her breathing makes her restless: she can't tear her eyes off of her, can't help but stare.

Maura waits for her to exhale another time before she straightens her back and sits. She shrugs off her leather jacket and her hands fumble with her blouse, the smooth fabric seems to slide off her fingers. She successfully pulls it over her head, ignoring the part of her mind that tries to make her rethink her move.

Kate hums behind her, a feather-like touch gazes the skin at the base of her back and she freezes. It lasts just a moment, the contact so fleeting she wonders if it wasn't the breeze. She likes to think it wasn't.

She leans back down and when she turns on her side Kate's eyes travel from hers down her neck, her chest, patiently taking her in, before moving back up at her mouth. Maura lets her watch as she smirks, enjoying the little payback and Kate's antics.

"You made me feel overdressed," she states and Kate's eyes lose focus on her lips and meet hers.

"I'm glad," Kate grins before turning to lie on her back again.

* * *

Kate's beautiful.

She's still watching her and her mind always goes back to that only thought.

Her cheekbones are high, her jaw line sharp. Her skin looks soft and she can't help but follow the long line of her neck. Her hands spasm a little, begging to trace the lines of her collarbones.

She's effortlessly stunning. And she's aware of her beauty, of the effect it has on others and her. It's difficult to detect the boundaries they shouldn't cross when they seem to be already so open with each other. She's not used to having a close friend at all, how can she know what is okay to do and what isn't?

"I like this."

She doesn't know why she is saying it, but her fingers come up to caress Kate's cheek, her digits stroking the skin around her mole.

"I used to try to scratch it off when I was younger," Kate replies, smirking, tilting her head toward her and meeting her touch. "It's meaningless."

"In French they call it _marque de beauté_ ," she answers, her fingers still tracing the silk of her skin. "Mark of beauty."

Kate hums as Maura strokes the edge of her jaw and then up, her hairline and her brown locks. Kate bends her head backward, exposing her neck and chasing her caresses. It's frightening to witness how easy it is for her to stop thinking about what is right and what isn't when they're together.

Kate is impulsive, a tidal wave Maura can't seem to fight.

"I think it makes perfect sense," Maura continues as her hand keeps on studying her. It traces the line of a curl until it meets her neck, her shoulder. Kate's skin ripples at her touch, making Maura wonder just how sensitive her neckline must be.

Kate moves under her fingers then, turns on her left side and faces her. Maura retreats her hand and places it between her cheek and the blanket as Kate moves her own toward her.

"I prefer these," she whispers as her finger gazes her neck. Maura shivers and goosebumps erupt as Kate inches down her chest, stopping when she's almost between her breasts.

"My breastbone?" Maura asks, her voice shaky enough to make Kate's lips turn upward and her eyes glance up to hers. Her irises look mostly green in the sunlight, some sparks of gold in between.

"No," she mouths, her teeth nibbling at her lower lip in a way it makes Maura mimic her gesture. "Your freckles."

Kate's eyes glance at her chest before locking with hers again, her smirk completely disappeared. For a moment she fears Kate is teasing her again, testing her reaction; but there's a glint in her eyes and an irregularity in her breathing that she wouldn't be able to fake.

"I used to cover them with makeup. I still do sometimes."

Her voice is enough to snap Kate out of her thoughts, her eyes blink and her hands retreats, resting on the blanket between them now. Should she add that she doesn't plan on covering them anymore if that's the reaction she will get from Kate every time?

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Kate's question makes her smirk, her eyes stare directly into hers expectantly, open and golden. Maura whispers a no in response, on impulse, almost afraid Kate won't believe her if she takes a moment to answer. Kate bites her lip again, and she would like to tell her her habit is not healthy, but the gesture is just too entrancing for her to comment.

"A girlfriend?"

"Neither," she answers, aware deep down in her belly that _that_ question was the only one Kate wanted to ask in the first place. She tries to soothe Kate by stroking her hair like before, she brushes her locks off her shoulder, a little grin tugs on Kate's lips.

"What about you?"

"No to both," Kate answers, returning the touch along Maura's blond curls, their gazes never dropping.

"Why did you ask?" Maura asks again, both of them sinking in the comfort of each other's caresses.

"Because I suppose they wouldn't be too happy to know their girlfriend is lying shirtless on a beach with someone else," Kate answers slowly, smirking. "Someone that happens to find said girlfriend very, very attractive."

* * *

 **TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: This chapter was a calvary, I don't even care if it's shorter. Anyway, I'm getting busier, so the rhythm of this fic will slow down considerably.

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

"Stay still."

Maura's eyes flutter open, the sun is a little lower than she remembers, but its lights is still too bright for her, her hand comes up above her face to shield her.

Kate rises to her feet next to her, the t-shirt that she put back on swings as she moves. She bends on her legs and fidgets with her helmet, a ray of light brightens the exposed skin where the fabric slides up the small of her back. She strolls toward her then, letting her eyes drop to her camera while she adjusts the settings.

She stops a few steps away from her, eyeing the white blouse resting on her left.

"Do you want to cover yourself?" Kate asks.

But Maura is already shaking her head, a fierce _no_ that makes Kate grin. She watches her drop to her side again, on her belly, shifting to rest comfortably on her elbows.

"Close your eyes, like before," Kate instructs. And Maura complies, lets her head rest on the blanket and rolls her shoulders to relax, an arm under her skull. Is she beautiful enough to be taken pictures of? Her skin tingles and her lips part under the scrutiny she can't witness.

It's not discomfort. She's learned how to say no.

It's deeper, a warm feeling at the bottom of her belly.

"Bend your head backward."

Kate's hand lifts her chin slightly and she follows, revealing the skin of her neck and arching her back a little. Kate murmurs something she can't detect; Kate runs a hand in her hair, forcing her blonde locks out of her face as she positions it at her pleasing.

Maura smiles and she hears another sharp click. It's easy, then, to straighten her back and turn toward Kate, her hazel eyes fluttering open in front of the lens, the sun warms her left cheek and her stomach.

"Have you posed before?" Kate asks and she continues to take pictures of her, her eye squinting near the viewfinder. Maura props herself on her right elbow, her head rests against her hand as she stares at her camera.

"No," she whispers, brushing her hair off her shoulder.

"I did," Kate replies, moving to kneel next to her. Maura's head chases her and Kate smiles, tilting her chin higher another time. "I posed naked for an art class."

She can't stop her eyes from widening at her confession, and her breath catches a moment later when she internalizes her words. It kind of makes sense now her easiness to undress in front of her. If she focuses she can almost hear the scratch of the pencil as it draws her curves, her fingertips smearing the graphite where the shadows hide her skin.

Her muscles and her limbs and her flesh for her to portray.

Another click snaps her out of her thoughts. Kate looks down at her camera, a smug grin tugs on her lips. She wonders if Kate knows what went through her mind.

Maura averts her eyes and her hand reaches out for her blouse; she can feel Kate watching her and she hears other clicks as the silk fabric slides along her skin and covers her.

"What are we doing, Kate?" she asks, sitting cross legged in front of her, her hands reaching for Kate's camera. She lets her, watches her as she turns it in her hands.

"You are not talking about the pictures, are you?"

Her hair covers her face as she shakes her head, her fingers fidget with the camera until she rest it on the blanket, her eyes never meeting hers. She should have an answer, since she's been flirting with her since the first time they met, since Maura made her feel things she can't even recognize.

It's silly and juvenile and good.

"Do you need a label?" Kate asks, her hands combing Maura's hair out of her face without thinking, already so bold. The move forces them closer and Maura comes willingly, her cheek nuzzling Kate's shoulder until she rests with her nose at the base of her neck.

"I don't like uncertainty."

"Not everything can be black or white," Kate answers, her hands working at the base of Maura's skull; she sighs at her ministrations and Kate closes her eyes, feeling her chest swell and her veins fill with liquid bliss.

"You're too grey for me, then."

"But grey areas are where everything happens, Maura," Kate replies, her tone soft and her caresses tender, "where two completely different things lose their borders and meet."

Maura hums against her chest, her curves press against her front as her arms circle Kate's waist, forcing them closer. Her lithe body stiffens for a moment, before accommodating her. Maura's fingers rest low on her back, play with the hem of her t-shirt and balance on the edge between fabric and skin.

"So the only way to have you is in the penumbra?"

Her fingertips stumble off the brink and stroke. Lightly, but bravely. Enough to make Kate purr. She is aware Maura is teasing her when she leaves a kiss at the base of her neck, slowly and gently, nestling more closely. Kate's hands stop playing with her blond curls and Maura repeats the gesture.

"Maura," she warns, her voice low and shaky. Her chest heaves a little more intensely and her skin turns warmer at Maura's actions. She is lulling her in a state of daze merely with her touch and her kisses.

"I think I am willing to take the risk," Maura adds, her lips getting braver, moving higher along her neck. She smiles against her when Kate shivers, her hands gripping Maura's shoulders in a silent warning.

But Maura just arches into her, her lips brushing her jaw line in open-mouthed kisses. Kate swallows, fighting the need to sigh aloud as she proceeds toward her ear. Her body responds to her feather-like touch and Maura smiles.

Kate retreats to be able to see her, her cheeks red and her lips upturned. She just can't stop the surge of affection that fills her chest and make her lean forward again. Maura laughs, framing her face with both of her hands, her fingers tugging her locks back.

It's a little patch of anxiety the one that tingles at the bottom of her stomach, the awareness that something is shifting inside her as she closes the distance and meets her lips. Maura's smile fades away against her mouth, her hands grip at her nape and Kate sighs, her bodies pressing impossibly closer.

Their mouths open and move in a slow chase, Kate's fingers inch along Maura's sides until she touches skin. So addicting. It's a sweet anguish to long for Maura to be even nearer, to feel her deeper. She circles her waist with her arms and tightens; Maura just comes willingly, so easily, so naturally.

Maura hums in the back of her throat, the palm of her hands stroking leisurely her shoulder blades; no harsh grips or desperate lips. Just a tireless, slow study of her edges. Kate's body aches to reciprocate, but it just sinks into the comfort her caresses provide and she surrenders.

It calms her, to kiss her.

She has her eyes closed when Maura withdraws, her thumbs tracing the line of her cheekbones. She leaves a last peck on her mouth, their lips barely touching, but the tenderness of it makes it hard not to kiss her again and again.

"You always felt inevitable to me," Kate whispers instead.

* * *

The ride back home is fast, Maura keeps her arms under Kate's breasts, a little tighter, and she cuddles a little closer. Kate has no idea where this leaves them. She tests the word _girlfriend_ in her mind and it sounds inaccurate. It feels too traditional, in a way. And too forward.

But just _friend_ would be too little for this.

Too little after that kiss, too little since ever actually.

Kate tells herself she doesn't need to know what they are and Maura's body against her back makes it easy for her to forget.

When they reach Maura's apartment, her hands squeeze the soft flesh of Kate's thighs before she comes down. Kate almost forgets to censor her gasp. She watches as Maura takes off her helmet, her eyes twinkle as she comes nearer.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Maura whispers, smiling, as she leaves the last kiss of the day on Kate's cheek.

* * *

 **TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: How exhausting. I'm sorry it took so long.

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

She awaits for her outside her classroom.

She worries the edge of the strap resting on her shoulder with her hand.

She also occasionally shifts her weight from one foot to the other.

Maura makes her nervous.

Like always.

And the kiss – the kiss paralyzes her. She doesn't know what to do with her hands anymore. They spasm and her lips crave just another kiss. Their relationship is still so blurred, still so full of blank spaces. She doesn't really know her, ignores her fears and hopes and dreams and what makes her cry.

It's different from anything she has ever experienced, and different from what it should feel like. She tries to ignore the part of her mind that tells her this spark of pure connection will fade away.

When the door opens, people rush out past her, a book tucked under their arm or a backpack on their shoulders. Maura collects her things cautiously, not seeing her lean against the doorframe. The blue sundress she's wearing rests high on her thighs, every time she turns to put a book in her bag it swings against her legs. Her ponytail exposes her neck and her shoulders.

Kate notices she's wearing flats when Maura stops in her track a few steps away from her, her mouth falls open and her eyes shimmer. The height difference is evident and Kate feels the itch to just move closer and lift her up.

"Kate," she whispers, her smile wide and her eyes bright. "What are you doing here?"

"Wanted to bring you out for lunch," Kate replies, her feet bringing her closer. "If you're up to it."

Maura smiles again, her eyes search the classroom before she walks toward her, her hands gripping the soft flesh of Kate's arms in a known gesture. She looks small, lively. Her smile seems a little bigger than usual.

"I'd love that," she answers, rising on her tiptoes to be able to reach her more easily. She leaves a kiss on her cheek, quick but firm; Kate can feel the grin on Maura's lips against her cheekbone.

"I'll give you a proper kiss when we are out of here," Maura whispers.

* * *

She does give her that kiss.

Lingering and sweet.

* * *

Maura lays her head on her shoulder after lunch, their thighs touch and her hair tickles Kate's shoulder. They rest comfortably against the bench, their legs under the table, the smell of coffee comes up from their cups.

Maura likes coffee as much as her apparently.

Sugarless, though, and a variety which name Kate doesn't remember already. Maura hums every time she takes a sip and Kate can't stop tracing the edge of Maura's dress with her fingertips, studying with her eyes the blue skirt.

She caresses with her hand her kneecap as Maura leans forward to put her cup back on the wooden surface of the table, a small grin on her lips as she slows every move to watch Kate watching her. Her eyes lock with Maura's as her fingertips stroke the soft fabric.

"Is something wrong with my dress?" Maura asks as she leans back against the bench, her arm resting on the backrest, her head propped up. She traces with her eyes her movements, the way Kate's palm smoothes the skirt and caresses her thigh. Kate's gaze never drops, persistent and deep, but Maura's attention falters as her hand brushes the back of her knee.

Kate's hand stops, draws another pattern there and smirks as Maura hums.

"Why do you wear this type of clothes?"

Maura's eyebrows furrow, even if Kate's tone is kind and her gesture continues on her skin, light and repetitive.

"I mean, you look gorgeous, as always. Your clothes always fit you perfectly, they are obviously made of high-quality material. I'm sure you consider them as works of art, and that's partly why you wear them," Kate continues. "And although I like fashion, too, I wouldn't dress in them every day."

Maura awaits with her hazel eyes fixed on hers, her hand fidgeting on her lap.

"I noticed your reaction when you had the chance to wear leather, how you like to show off, how you naturally seek the attention of other, even without realizing it," Kate goes on, her fingers stopping on her knee and reaching for Maura's, ending her movements.

Kate knows her assumption is right when Maura drops her gaze. She watches in silence how Kate's thumb draws circles on the back of her hand.

"I think you used to dress differently. Or, at least, you wished you could. I'm not implying you don't like what you wear now, you of course do. Probably you choose this type of clothes because being accepted and respected is already difficult for you, so clothes must at least not worsen the situation. They are exactly what people expect from you. Classy, impeccable, feminine. But you genuinely enjoy being unruly, disobedient, even if you conceal it."

She has thought about the consequences of the environment she has been raised in quite a lot during the years: would she be a totally different person if she grew up with her biological parents? Is her adoptive ones were different?

"You have it in you to be assertive, to show people you are right. You do it with intelligence, keeping your voice low although firm. But your eyes sparkle, Maura, turn darker, sharper."

She does fear the path her thinking takes sometimes, the repulsive feelings that make her heart beat faster from time to time. She has no idea where they come from. Some place deep down, where they have been compressed by her education and the principles she was brought up believing in.

She likes breaking the law. She has made peace with that. The adrenaline that runs through her veins is like a drug, a dope that made her ride naked, that makes her forget any constructed belief that was forced on her. It's just later, when the adrenaline runs out and her ethics resurfaces, that concern settles in. She tries to work harder then, to relax with yoga, to study to take her mind off her actions.

But nothing makes her feel as free and fulfilled as giving in.

But Kate doesn't know that part of her, her dark thoughts. She relegates them in a corner and goes on trying to be kind, gentle, everything not to let people see. She was gifted with free will, after all, she likes to think her kindness characterizes her more than her inner traits she can't control.

"This is not an artificial self," she whispers finally.

"I know," Kate answers. "But you shouldn't feel the need to disguise a part of yourself, Maura. I want you to be yourself with me, I won't judge. Both sides are equally right… and arousing."

She knows Kate is merely referring to her clothes, that she has no idea of what goes on in her mind, but her comment makes her smile, she shakes her head, pursing her lips at Kate. With the tip of her fingers under her chin, Kate immediately leans in.

Her mouth soothes away her insecurity.

Their movements are sluggish, they both smile with their mouths pressed together, the vibration of Kate's laugh triggers Maura's. She feels her legs turn to jelly as Kate places her hand back on her thigh, on the verge of her dress, and her smile vanishes, suppressed by the low hum she can't stop. Kate arches toward her at the sound, presses her against the backrest as Maura stokes the smooth skin at the base of Kate's back.

She trembles as their mouths part, Kate sighs with her forehead against hers before she dives in for another kiss, her thumb tracing circles on her leg. It's so easy for both of them to forget they are in display for everyone who passes by, nothing is in their minds but the insistent press of each other's lips.

Maura keeps her eyes closed when Kate withdraws, gently bites her lower lip out of reflex. Kate watches as she wounds the soft flesh she just kissed, her hand contracts on Maura's thigh while she realizes she aches for more.

"I see picturing me in a suit has quite an effect on you," Maura whispers, letting her eyes flutter open and her hand join Kate's on her skin. "You kiss very well, Kate."

Kate mutters a curse as she turns away from her, her shoulders slump, her eyes scanning the place around them without really paying attention. "You make me feel things I should not feel," she says, leaving another glance around before turning toward her again.

"What do you mean?"

"I want to kiss you again and again," she stresses. "We part and I just feel more desperate than before. Is there a scientific reason? I mean, I have met attractive people before, people I knew better, but… but it was never so intense. It scares me that I can't control myself."

"According to studies, people have chemical families associated with dopamine, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen and we chose partners with chemicals that complement ours. It's chemistry," Maura states, taking Kate's hand in hers. "What you feel is common and very flattering, I might add."

"I'm treating you like an object, Maura."

"No," she denies, "No-one as ever treated me as a human being like you do. You make me feel normal, Kate. Valued." She waits while Kate watches her, inhales and exhales a couple of time. "I know we are new, but I know what you feel and we shouldn't let that limit us. You can kiss me, Kate, without feeling obscene for wanting more."

The last words fade in silence as Maura leans in, placing a slow and firm kiss on Kate's cheekbone that make Kate's eyes flutter closed. Maura inches toward her ear, stroking their cheeks together. "Desiring me is not a sin," she whispers.

"No," Kate whispers back, keeping her close. "But it might as well be a torture."

* * *

 **TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I'll get to the _fun_ part, I promise!

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

She keeps her head low when Maura opens the door.

Her surprised _Kate!_ fades in silence as she immediately spots the dark shadow on her left cheek, and her arm, securely kept around her stomach. And, of course, Maura also notices the glistening of her eyes when she raises her head.

Kate watches as she blinks, straightens her back, shouts out all her questions. She lets her enter, with her hand on the small of her back she guides her inside. When she hears the soft click of the door, she slows her walking. She turns toward Maura, buries her head in the crook of her neck without preamble.

She stirs, exhales, but her perfume has already calmed Kate and she doesn't move away. Maura feels her chilly breath against her neck, the spasm of her injured cheek. Her hand comes up to caress the back of Kate's head, slowly strokes her locks as her other arms circles her waist carefully.

She could stand in the middle of the hallway with Kate in her arms all night, comforting and waiting for some sort of explanation, but the side of her that tells her Kate needs treatment is just too strong to ignore. She physically can't focus when she knows someone is not alright, her mind races to all the possible cures and her hands hitch. Waiting is just too dangerous, she learnt it.

"Let me take a look, Kate," Maura whispers, rubbing her back in circles under her denim jacket. She tentatively takes a step backward, trying to loose her hold on Kate, but she doesn't let go.

Maura has to maneuver them around the apartment, her room, almost tumbling down a couple of times. But Kate smiles, so she tries again. When she manages to sit Kate on her bed and distance herself, she notices the slump of Kate's shoulders, her eyes that she can't keep open.

"Wait for me, don't fall asleep," she whispers, bending on her knees to reach Kate's eyes. She simply nods, trails with her gaze the kind pat Maura leaves on her kneecap before she rushes out.

The room smells of vanilla.

Everything is in its place. A series of books adorns the desk, a suitcase rests next to her closet and an odd shadow lies under the chair. The light of the bedside lamp is not strong enough to show it clearly, but the round of its exterior is curious and certainly unusual.

"Is that your pet?" she murmurs as soon as Maura enters, her hands full of creams and first-aid kit items. She places them on the comforter next to Kate, turns briefly to follow Kate's gaze.

"Yes, he is. His name's Bass. African Spurred Tortoise."

"He looks all mysterious," Kate observes, still watching him. "A little like you."

Maura smiles, hiding her smirk with her hair as she picks up the instant cold pack. She nudges Kate's legs open with her feet, forcing her to straighten her back as she comes nearer. Kate stares up at her, her lips slightly ajar.

The dimness of the room makes her eyes look bigger. So open and black and intriguing.

Maura can't resist caressing her unhurt cheek, her sharp cheekbone. She slides her fingers in her hair, wishing she could slow the beating of her heart, but Kate closes her eyes, leans in. It should feel easier with time, after the kisses, but maybe it's still too early, because the reaction Kate causes in her is still amazingly deep.

It's affection, for sure. But it's also yearning.

Not the physical kind.

She dies to figure her out.

"What happened?" she whispers, lifting Kate's head and sliding her hand away. She places the pack in her open palm and watches as Kate presses it gently against her cheek, flinching in pain. With her eyes closed, she shakes her head, ending her curiosity.

"Then let me take a look at your stomach," Maura answers, taking a step backward to give her space. "Lie down."

She displaces the comforter behind Kate, the soft thud of Kate's shoes falling to the floor is followed by a groan she lets out as she moves.

She looks good in her room, Maura realizes. In her bed. She fits among her things, taking the space nobody has ever filled. She wants all she can have with her.

"Don't be nervous," Kate mocks, using the free hand to lift her t-shirt up enough to expose her stomach. "You have already seen me without a shirt."

Maura straightens the wrinkles of her pants as she sits next to her legs, her eyes study the dark, angry swell of her skin, ignoring her comment. She underestimated the situation. She takes her wrist instantly, presses with her index and middle fingers.

"Have you been drinking?" she asks firmly, checking with her wristwatch Kate's pulse. Kate denies, furrowing her brows at the sudden change of topic. Maura rubs her palms against her thighs a couple of times before pressing on the side of Kate's stomach.

"Does it hurt?" Maura asks, applying pressure gently, testing the swelling. She's too focused to notice Kate has closed her eyes, enjoying her care.

"When you touch it, yes, a little bit. And when I move."

Maura lifts her gaze from Kate's belly, studying her, contemplating the possibilities.

"Although you seem not to have difficulty in breathing, you haven't consumed alcohol and I felt no particular bump, you should still go to the hospital," she states. "I can't be certain you are not bleeding internally without X-ray, Kate."

Kate can detect the small change in Maura's voice, she made her name sound broken and she sounds clinical. So she raises her head from the pillow, slides her hand on the comforter until she meets Maura's.

"I am fine," she stresses, tightening her hold to emphasize her words. "They caught me off guard, but I was faster. I avoided it as much as I could, the hit wasn't direct."

"What do you mean _they_ , Kate?" Maura writhes out of her hold, clenches her jaw as she hisses. "Your pancreas, liver, kidneys, or bladder may be injured, Kate, I-"

She stutters. Two, three times. Her eyes widen in Kate's, her hand flies to her heart, her neck, checking her own pulse. She turns away, protecting herself, trying to hide the reddening of her neckline. She looks terrified.

"This- I can't do this," she breathes out, with her back to Kate, clenching and unclenching her hand. "This is why I don't work on living patients, this is why I will never be-"

Kate's arms hitch to hug her, to suffocate her sighs against her chest and wipe away all of her insecurity; but Maura distanced herself from her touch, turned, hid. She suffers alone.

"Maura," Kate whispers, moving to be in a sitting position, her face above Maura's shoulder. "I didn't come here looking for a doctor, so don't look at me like a _living patient_. You won't be held responsible for my own choices. I need you. Just you, Maura."

Kate sees her lip quiver, glimmer at the pale light as she contemplates her words. She knows she shouldn't touch her but she seems too far away to take her back in any other way. With the tip of her fingers, Kate traces the lines of her locks from her hairline down to her shoulders, caressing her cheek and exposing her neck.

Maura breathes out her name at her caress and she marvels at how little it takes to have a reaction from her.

"Please," she begs, her voice low and little.

Kate dips and her lips kiss the soft skin of Maura's shoulder. She breathes there with her eyes closed, slowly, blissed out. She feels Maura exhale and she opens her eyes, knows she convinced her with her plea. She whispers to her to lie down and Kate complies, hiding her smile in the dark of the room.

Maura doesn't meet her eyes, but she chooses the lotion carefully, analyses the various boxes multiple times. She warns her it's cold before applying the cream on her stomach and Kate hums, she watches closely her movements, her face, how she blinks when her hand touches her skin.

She's extremely gentle and light in her strokes, she pays attention to her every bruise and Kate feels the fatigue starting to weight. She gets used to Maura attention quickly and her eyes flutter closed. Maura's hands gain confidence and start to wonder lower on her stomach, even where the bruises are paler. She knows she can feel the goosebumps under her fingertips and the way her muscles contract at her touch.

She recognizes the path that Maura starts to caress, she's stroking her stretch marks. She travels them up and down with her thumb and the persistent move almost make Kate drift off to sleep.

But when Maura stops a little later and Kate feels her move, she stops her immediately with a hand around her wrist, whispering her not to go. It's impossible for her to let her walk away and the thought of not having her near makes her restless.

"Kate, you need-"

 _You_ , she thinks. But she's too tired to answer. So she drags herself back on the bed, against the wall, without opening her eyes, never letting her hand go. It makes Maura sighs.

"I should get changed," she replies at her silence, but she's already climbing on the bed. She lies on her side with her face to Kate, drags the blanket on them both and forgets about her proposition.

Kate's breath is evening out rapidly and in the dimness of the room she lets her head rest mere inches away from hers. She studies her profile and she aches to trace it with her finger but she doesn't. Instead, her hand moves under the blanket and find Kate's. Their fingers interlock even if Kate is already asleep and doesn't respond to her hold.

She watches the movements of Kate's chest, listens to her breathing, wishing she could kiss her. Wishing it could quiet her need down.

"Why do you make me feel like this?" she whispers to herself. "Why do you always make me feel so naked?"

* * *

 **TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Friendly reminder English is not my first language.

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

She has always had issues with intimacy. Cuddles have always made her anxious and hugs have always felt suffocating. She hates the oppressing, heavy arms wrapped around her waist at morning. The muscles that at night fascinate her make her sick at dawn, when they clog her airways and press her down.

And she loathes the way they hold harder when she just wishes to go.

She is not accustomed to being touched, being hugged forcefully, and although she loves sex she despises every other form of contact. Even the thought of having an arm around her waist as she walks is barely bearable, makes her feels like an ornament to show off or claim property of.

She didn't know intimacy growing up, didn't know friendship and sharing and missed on milestone steps in the process of becoming an adult. This maybe led to feeling sick when sharing a bed with one-night stands.

She had learnt to swallow her discomfort figuring it would have been easier with time and she would have grown accustomed to it. But time didn't heal her as she wished.

Not until now, at least, because her alarm goes off and she shuts it blindly without even acknowledging the arm keeping her safely in place. She falls back on her pillow with a sigh and it's only when a low hum reaches her ear from behind that she notices.

In her sleep-clouded state she vaguely remembers how Kate had showed up at her door and how painful it was to treat her bruises. She briefly looks down at herself only to confirm she slept with her clothes on; she should be mad at herself for letting it happen but Kate hums again and shifts closer and she loses interest in it.

Maura lets her eyes flutter closed when Kate starts to wonder with her hand on her belly, shifting her tee higher a little, her curves pressed at her side, warm and soft and pleasing.

It doesn't make her sick. In fact, the press of her arm and the short caress she just got thrilled her. It just takes a little movement of her hips to feel Kate's skin brush against hers and the immediate shiver she receives stuns her. She gasps for air with her lips parted as her body processes the sensation. She doesn't have the courage to turn and face Kate, her breathing is still even anyway and her movements only unconscious.

So she stays still, studying the tingle at the bottom of her belly and letting her mind wonder, replaying the feeling of Kate's fingertips stroking her skin above her hips. The thought makes her restless and she's forced to grasp Kate's slim wrist and move her hand to the comforter. She breathes a couple of times, deeply, relaxing.

Then, with two hands, she pushes herself out of bed.

* * *

Kate has her eyes open when she emerges from the bathroom.

Her hair is already blow-dried and falls down on her shoulders delicately, her cheeks are vividly scarlet from the hot steam. And the robe she's wearing makes it impossible for Kate to tear her eyes away from her legs. Maura stops in her track and Kate witnesses the way the black satin bounces against her thighs.

"Kate- you're awake. How are you feeling?" she asks, taking two steps to come closer, her bare feet completely silent against the carpet. Kate's eyes snap up to hers, fighting against the urge to keep watching the sweet contrast of the dark fabric and the porcelain of her skin.

"Very well rested actually," she replies, smiling softly at the girl standing over her. Maura blinks at her, motionlessly holding her gaze before shying away a moment later.

"What about the bruises?" she asks, fidgeting with the towel in her hands.

"They'll get better," Kate answers casually, patting the space next to her on the mattress and prompting her to sit. Maybe she should distance herself from the source of lure but playing on the edge is too addicting.

Maura complies, leaves the towel at the end of the bed before going to sit, her hands run along the back of her thighs to keep the fabric in place, but the robe is just too short and it rests higher anyway.

She smells of rose and her lips curve in a nervous smile, her hands rest on her lap, Kate reaches out to cover them with her own. She can't help but feeling guilty for not giving her any explanation and the distance Maura seems to keep from her already makes her sick.

"They were two drunk guys from my class, quite angry because I succeed and they don't," she explains briefly, holding her worried gaze. "And they believe it's because both my parents are successful lawyers."

Silently thankful for Kate's sincerity, Maura just takes Kate's hand in hers, gently rubbing her palm with her thumb. Her brows are still furrowed, though, and her concern still present in her eyes.

"I usually don't react," she clarifies. "But they started saying things about my mother and- they can insult _me_ , but my mom? They don't get to talk about her that way, she is a very strong woman who believes deeply in justice and made her way without _any_ help."

 _Like you will_ , Maura thinks proudly, witnessing Kate's eyes grow harsher as her sense of protection and pride takes over.

"I don't pardon violence in any case, Kate," she clarifies. "But I understand why you reacted like that and I can't bring myself to be mad at you." She smiles down at her, pushes her hair out of her forehead with the tip of her fingers.

"I don't regret anything anyway," Kate replies, her voice soft but sure.

With Maura so near, she realizes she adores this version of her, freshly showered and without make-up, no fancy clothes on. She likes how different she seems in her room, how comfortable she looks.

"I think my mother would love you," she whispers without thinking. "I can envision her as she listens to you, all caught up and curious and excited as she always is. She's… so passionate."

She knows her voice sound dimmer, but somehow it always does when she talks about family. However cheesy it makes everything sound, she has learnt not to excuse her vulnerability when it comes to those she loves: sorry is not something she feels in this case.

"If she's anything like you, I'm sure I'd adore her."

* * *

Leaving Maura's room was harder than she thought it'd be. Kissing her is addicting and restraining from touching was a little too difficult to fully succeed. Maura smiled against her mouth and kissed her harder and everything turned even tougher. And now that Kate walks toward her door, she misses the warmth of Maura's arms around her, the feeling of her silky robe under her palms as she caressed her back, the press of her breasts against hers.

It stunned her, at first. She had held other girls in her arms during her life but she had never particularly noticed how pleasing the feeling was, how seductive, even if innocent.

She stores her thoughts away for later as she opens the door of her room. The door barely clicks closed behind her before Madison heatedly exits the bathroom and storms toward her with hair still wet.

"Where the hell have you been, Kate? What's that bruise? I've been worried sick all night, I called thirty times and you never answered," she barks. "Didn't you even think of letting me know where you were for God's sake?"

"Where I go is none of your business, Maddie," she answers back, taken aback by her rebuke.

"Right, because nothing bad can happen to a girl when she's out in the middle of the night," she replies, gesturing harshly with her hands as she does only when she's mad. "I always tell you when I'm not going to be here for the night, Kate, you should do the same- And where have you even slept?"

Kate blinks, purses her lips as she stares at Madison in her eyes. She ponders telling her the truth, but having Maura to herself is wonderful and she feels like she's giving up her little bubble of peace by telling her.

"To Maura's, right?" Madison whispers at her silence, her shoulder slump and her hands drop to her side. "Is there something I should know, Kate?" Her voice turns gentler, but it makes Kate feel exposed anyway.

"Nothing that concerns you," she answers without looking at her, her hands fumble with her phone to turn it on.

"It does concern me, though, Kate, because I am your roommate and your best friend, and if I need to know where you are, I want to know where to find you, so… were you at Maura's?" Kate pockets her phone and meets her eyes as she nods slowly. "What is happening with her?"

"We kissed," she replies immediately, shrugging, hoping it will satisfy Madison.

"That's it?"

"Multiple times," she clarifies. Maddie nods, letting her eyes drop to the floor as she processes her answer. Kate hides her hands in her pockets as she waits. For now, telling her hasn't made her feel lighter as she envisioned.

"Is it serious?"

"I don't know what you mean by that. Do I like her? Yes. Do I have a label for our relationship? No," she replies. "And before you ask, I'm not going to look for one, because what I feel when I'm with her is not merely conveyable with a word, so just don't."

"Do you even hear yourself? You're pragmatic, you're not like this," Madison whispers, shocked. "I've never seen you like this."

Kate exhales at that, at the uncertainty of her voice, and takes a step forward, taking Maddie's hands in hers. "I love you, Maddie, and I promise you I'll let you know when I'm staying with her for now on, but please don't try to understand this. You couldn't, anyway. And it surprised me, too, I assure you, but I told myself not to try and explain this."

"I won't stop checking on you anyway," she smiles after some moments of silence. Kate smiles back before enveloping her in her arms, silently very grateful for her and her attentions.

"Did she treat your bruise?" Maddie asks as they part, running her thumb across her cheekbone. Kate nods, blushing a little. "Then I already like her more."

* * *

 **TBC**


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Reviews are always very much appreciated.

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

They go back to the bar where they met at the end of the week. Loud, deafening music rings in their ears as they walk, careless bodies bump into them while they go for the dance floor. Maura walks ahead of her and drags her along with their hands locked, moves with neat grace in the mess of bodies, smooth and graceful. The high neck, sleeveless black dress that hugs her curves is shorter than the others she saw on her. A glint of malice passed in Maura's eyes when Kate had landed eyes on her in her doorsteps and momentarily forgot to speak. The cut of her dress accentuated her neckline, her collarbones surfaced every time she laughed, delicate and striking.

What Kate was wearing was obviously not as seductive, but her pants fit her perfectly and her shirt felt comfortable. She made sure to leave a few buttons open and Maura has surely appreciated the sneak of the black lace of her bra underneath. Kate had smiled at the raise of her brow and held back from pointing out that she, on the contrary, was visibly not wearing any.

Maura slows her pacing in front of her, she meets her with two steps. She loosens her clutch and Kate frames her hips with her hands from behind, her thumbs pressing on Maura's back as they come to a halt.

Maura is already moving against her front; long, blonde hair tickles her chest as she sways and Kate just holds tighter, the fabric scratches her palm but the faint displeasure keeps her grounded. Her eyes drift down the curve of Maura's back and she takes in the picture of her bottom moving against the top of her legs.

She closes her eyes, breathes as deeply as she can in this heavy air. She feels warm. Her chest burns and her legs buckle, weak and unstable. She despises the hopelessness she feels, the inevitable turn things will take tonight - not because she doesn't want to take the step, but because she's used to being the one teasing, edging. Submitting that power to someone else makes her anxious, makes her feel less in control of her own body.

Maura is good, though, and admitting she wants her is so easy. Following her lead makes Maura smile so childishly. Kate wonders what that smiles turns into when she writhes in pleasure.

She shakes her head, blocking her thoughts now that she still can, wondering just how far they could take her. She wiggles her fingers while Maura turns under her palms; her hair follows the movement and Kate finds herself almost nose-to-nose with her. Maura caresses her way up her arms, taking her time to feel the fabric as she continues to move, slow and beautiful. She strokes the side of her neck as she proceeds, leaning in, letting her hands interlock behind Kate's head.

She bites her lip and Kate smirks, letting her hands wonder down her sides; her fingertips graze the skin of Maura's thighs and she falters, her smile fades into a small o. She wants to know which other places make her react like that when touched. The surprise is fleeting in her features, though, because it's a matter of seconds before Maura presses her body more fully against hers; her nose strokes her cheek as she goes for her ear.

"Why are you not dancing, Kate?" she whispers, accompanying her with her moves. "I remember watching you from the stool and dreaming of having you move against me as that boy had the luck to."

Somehow she still sounds so pure, even if the words leaving her mouth are filthy and her tone seems silk. Kate's hands skim the curve of her back over the fabric, her fingertips dip in the middle, feeling her vertebrae, making her straighten. "Am I not worth your -"

"I can't focus," she answers, touching lower. She can't help but clench her hands on her soft flesh, her nails dig briefly on her dress. It makes her purr against her cheek. "You play a dangerous game."

"Not a game. You are not a game, and having you is not the final destination."

Maura tilts her head back, the black pools of her irises burn fiercely in hers as her hands stop on the small of her back. Kate remembers perfectly the very specific urge to lean forward the first time they kissed, the life altering decision her mind registered too late. Looking at her now, ignoring the music and the bodies around them, another type of need makes her quiver. She thinks of undressing her and touching her and loving her and it feels natural, liberating.

Right. It feels right.

So she captures her lips with her owns, keeps her close with her hands at her nape as Maura's hands grip fiercely her hips. Kate bites lightly on her lower lip and she sighs, holding her harder.

She tastes of sweet alcohol and she makes her head spin exactly in the same way.

* * *

Maura has her mouth open when Kate uses her body to press the door closed, warm hands brace on her shoulders when her back hits the wooden surface. Kate swallows her moan, inches her legs open with hers to shift closer, her dress rising along her thighs.

She feels dizzy.

Maura surrenders and claims control back systematically, answers with equal vigor to her kisses. She doesn't give in, doesn't let her win like everyone else and somehow Kate just desires her more for that.

Maura feels different under her hands – she has all night long actually. Her moves seemed more confident and the voice she used to whisper in her ear definitely smoother. With her hands inching under her shirt, Kate realizes all over again that Maura is, in fact, a grown woman, comfortable in her skin and aware of her needs.

But it's easy to forget that part of her when she looks so innocent.

They part after yet another kiss, their lips red and glistening in the dark of Maura's room. Their eyes meet, blurry and fierce, and the look Kate finds in Maura's is so utterly new she has a hard time resisting kissing her again. She doesn't scare her, though, doesn't make her distance herself. She feels emboldened by the notion that Maura is like her, that she doesn't need to be more careful than usual, that she doesn't need to be different or censor herself.

So when she looks down between their bodies and sees the white porcelain of Maura's legs on each side of hers, she can't postpone what she's been dying to do all along. As her hands glide down the back of her thighs, she leans in and leaves a warning in her ear.

She hoists her up with her fingers pressing into her soft flesh and Maura whimpers with her mouth on her neck, letting her feel her smirk against her pulse point. Maura squirms against her to keep herself up and every little movement of her body sends a jolt of pure pleasure in her veins. A sharp thud echoes against the walls when she lets her heels fall to the ground and presses her feet against the back of Kate's thighs.

Kate's hands roam her skin, disappear under the black fabric of her dress. She closes her eyes and focuses on the hot press of Maura's mouth under her jaw line and the encompassing warmth of her body. She knows her hands are clasping a little too roughly, digging in her flesh, but Maura doesn't comment, just clutches at her back and kisses her from above.

She feels the muscles of her thighs tense to climb higher.

Her feet move backward, distancing them from the door. Their shadows ghost in the mirror in the low light and Kate groans, in awe with how good they look together, what a pleasing, perfect form their bodies make.

She falls on the bed behind her with Maura in her lap, straddling her, teasing and glowing in her glory. Maura combs her own hair to the side, tousling it, looking wilder, and Kate immediately arches toward her, searches her lips not to bite her owns.

Every kiss settles at the bottom of her belly, amplifies her longing, the light scratch of Kate's nails on her thighs makes her hum. Maura leans back, one hand on Kate's shoulder for leverage and her thumbs tracing her lower lip. It's tough to take distance, to stop, but the moment her gaze travels up and meets hers everything feels more real.

"I don't want to presume anything," she whispers, a little smile tugging on her lips. "Should we stop?"

"No," she mouths. She holds her gaze for a moment before leaning in. "No," Kate repeats muttering with her mouth at the base of Maura's neck. She breathes in her perfume while her hands caress their way up her back, reaching blindly for the zip of the dress.

As the teeth pop open and the dress peels off her skin in two, her palms cover the newly revealed skin of her back. With her eyes closed, she takes in the valley between her shoulder blades when Maura arches, she studies with neat diligence each downturn of her back, every ridge her bones create where they end. Maura keeps her mouth near her hairline, leaves kisses where she can, little sounds of encouragement leave her throat as the hands in her brown hair keep her in place.

She lets her hands wonder to the small of her back, over her goosebumps, where her flesh is easier to feel, where the zip ends and forces her to stop. She's patient against her, soft and warm and overwhelming.

Maura shifts back and meets her mouth halfway. She undoes the buttons of Kate's shirt slowly, opens her mouth for her, welcomes the work of her lips. She lets her fingertips graze the skin of her stomach, where the bruise must still be a little present, and as good as it feels to have her this near, blind touching is not enough.

"Stand," she whispers with her mouth against Kate's. Taking her hands in hers, she moves backward, rises from the bed and from Kate's thighs. Her shirt comes off rather quickly and Maura is already reaching for the clasp of her bra between Kate's breasts.

"You are so beautiful," Maura sighs, in awe, her bra drop at their feet and her fingertips reach out and draw the line of her sternum.

Kate sees her eyes take her in, her head tilts to the side and her lips move without actually saying anything. She still finds her admiration more pleasing than everyone else's, sometimes it's even amusing, but what she sees in her eyes is not as innocent as the other times. The tone of her voice gave her a shiver and now that Maura takes a step forward and strokes the underside of her breasts, lightly, teasing, she closes her eyes and exhales.

She tests the feeling of her breasts in her palms and her mouth claims her lips back. The force of the kiss makes Kate moan, her hands brace on Maura's hips – soon find their way to her exposed back – and Maura seems to smirk against her.

Their mouths open and work slowly while Maura pulls the black dress off her arms. It pools at her waist and Kate drags the fabric down, tugs it over her hips, down her legs. The fall is silent and Maura raises of her tiptoes, throw her arms around her neck, crashes their nude chests together and makes them collapse on the bed again.

She laughs against her lips, already giddy, and her stomach vibrates against Kate's.

She never stops surprising her.

* * *

 **TBC**

* * *

A/N: I ended it here because I need a piece of advice: should I continue the scene or jump to the morning after?


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I know this took forever, but my personal life is keeping me from writing. No promises when I'll post again.

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

Maura muffles the sound of her laugh against her collarbones, she lays almost naked on Kate's stomach, legs tangled and hands slowly drifting down her sides. Her chuckle soon dies into open mouthed kisses along the tendons of her neck. Kate knows she can feel her goosebumps, her sharp inhale of oxygen when she finds a particularly sensitive spot.

She keeps herself grounded grasping Maura's biceps, but a hint of teeth sink into her flesh and she gives in. She accepts the teasing of her fingers on the side of her breasts, the warm lips still pampering her skin. Her eyes slip closed as she tries to focus on the friction of their bodies, on the leg safely nestled between hers, liquid heat pools at the bottom of her belly each time Maura moves against her.

Her weight slowly lifts off her, she holds herself up above her, smirks down at her when Kate's eyes open and immediately fall to her breasts.

She watches as her lips part and her chest heaves, rises toward her – involuntarily, maybe, but it feels like a silent prayer. And when she lowers her head, she meets her eyes halfway, dark and open. Kate follows her movement, lifts her head from the pillow to watch her mouth close around her flesh.

A hint of smile appears against her skin as Maura registers her swear, she tries to soothe her with her tongue but other curses make their way up Kate's throat. She keeps her head in place with her finger pressing on her scalp, and Maura hums.

Kate's impatient, itches to taste her in the same way, to have her fill her mouth, to hear her. She's too thorough, seems to know by heart what drives her insane, and it's painful. Mind blowing, but agonizing. Kate has no patience. She pays equal attention to the other breast, hands tickling her side in a way that makes her squirm under her.

Wet lips start to trail down her stomach and Kate is quick to catch her chin with her fingers. Maura's eyes are big and green and surprised and she smiles down at her.

"I want you here," she whispers. It's foolish because ordinarily she would just encourage her lover down but this time, instead, with her, she craves her lips and her kiss more than an orgasm.

And Maura comes, relieved, kisses her exactly as she wished and Kate wraps her legs around her, keeping her in place. Her hands tangle in her blonde curls, keeping them out of their faces. Somehow in this moment Kate realizes the ache that stings in her stomach since the first time she saw her is not going to vanish just seeing her naked and making her come. It is likely to hurt more after that, after she has memory of what the skin of her belly feels like and what it means to lie between her legs.

Only Maura's mouth seems to quiet the feeling down but it always blossoms back as soon as they part and it's no use. Kate feels the tip of her fingertips on her belly, trailing down. She lets her pop the button of her pants open, raises her hips to help her drag them down. With her palms she traces the outside of her naked thighs, methodically, painfully slowly.

Her hazel eyes are the only thing Kate can see as the last piece of fabric glides down and leaves her naked; Maura's palms stroke the back of her legs in the process. Kate returns the gesture, her hands clench in her thighs and force her forward.

Their kisses are sluggish, their minds focus solely on the fingers exploring between Kate's legs, taking in her warmth, unable to resist inching in almost immediately. Maura swallows her sigh, her lips match the slow rhythm of her finger and Kate answers but she's wound up, frenetic, maddened by her composure.

"Don't," she whispers as Kate starts to move, impatient. "Trust me."

It's difficult to listen, to straighten her back, to follow her command. She's used to having people listen to her, giving her what she wants only popping her tongue. But now she's pushed down, won by this woman hovering over her, soothing her with her mouth, and the denial that should sting actually excites her.

"Breathe, focus on my touch," she says as she tentatively starts to move her fingers. She's delicate and deliberate and so different from what Kate was expecting from the look she saw in her eyes. But the determination is there and although her thrusts aren't rough they feel extremely deep, full, and Kate surrenders to the slow agony.

Maura tastes the skin of her neck, warm lips sucking at the base of her throat. The feeling of her teeth slightly nipping shoots down where her fingers are buried and Kate moans. Eyes closed, it's like her tongue strokes between her legs, exploring in a way no-one else ever seemed to accomplish.

"Fuck," she can't help but swear when Maura finds yet another sensitive spot inside her. Her kisses vanish in a smirk before her thrusts get deeper, more rapid – subtly at first, but growing bolder with each move. She doesn't know what she's pleading for but she does whisper her name, fists her hands in the comforter not to claw Maura's back.

She's familiar with the feeling creeping inside her, with the flutter of her eyelids that forces her into darkness, and she warns her – tries to, but Maura swallows her moan and shifts. Her palm presses against her clit and Kate arches, breasts pressing against each other's and blood pumping loudly in her ears. Her voice sounds broken as she curses, mixes her name with her moans and waits for the end she's craving.

When she comes every sound gets strangled in her throat, her body goes rigid, head thrown back and mouth open on a silent scream. But Maura continues to move and her legs buckle, she shudders at her persistency, at the orgasm still rippling through her, at Maura telling her how good she feels against her neck.

Kate breathes aloud when she gradually stops, her chest heaves as it fills with oxygen. She sighs when her fingers leave her body and her warm lips kiss her cheek, so fondly it almost seems out of place after what she did.

She can't return the gesture right away, her arms feels still too limp to do anything, to bring her mouth down to hers as she wishes. So she stays still, enjoys the press of Maura's body to her side, her leg between hers again.

She knows she won't resist much longer anyway.

* * *

Maura has to push her away with both of her hands when Kate tries to make her come with her mouth for the third time.

* * *

Maura lies on her back with her bent arm under her head, her hair spread over the pillow; she keeps the sheets over her stomach but lets Kate trace the contour of her chest, a small smirk on her lips. Her features are relaxed and there's a halo of pure joy around her.

Kate would be lying if she said she doesn't feel proud.

She would be lying if she said she doesn't find her even more beautiful now.

"Is it always like this?" Kate asks as her fingers trail up along her sternum. Head propped up by her other hand, she has to fight the urge to kiss her again – she will as soon as they can breathe normally.

"What is?"

"With a girl, is it always like this?" Her voice is light but Maura turns anyway, with the look that furrows her brows that Kate has learnt to love. Kate keeps caressing the same patch of skin to reassure her, tell her that what she's thinking is true but also not an issue. Her curiosity is sincere.

Maura searches her eyes, tilts her head to study her better. She tries to figure out her expression although there is nothing to look for, the answer is in the question to begin with.

"This was your first time," Maura states at the end, her voice is calm but her eyes are slightly blown. "Why didn't you tell me, Kate? Why didn't _I_ consider the possibility?"

"It doesn't make any difference, Maura," Kate whispers, smiling softly, leaning in. "There was no need to say it, you made me feel safe." And she means her words, she does, but Maura drops her gaze, fidgets with her hands over her stomach. She looks apprehensive.

Her nakedness somehow looks out of place now.

"It can be a negative experience with girls, too," she whispers. "As it can be good and everything in between. It's true that girls share your needs, so they are more aware of them, but men can be attentive lovers as well."

Kate knows she swallowed down her first answer, knows she held her tongue for whatever reason. Maybe she should bring it up again, tell her another time she's worrying uselessly. But she remembers Maura's reaction to lying and maybe, deep down, she's not prepared for her honesty.

Not now.

"Then it was you," Kate replies, uses two fingers to turn Maura toward her. Her head rolls and their eyes meet – they're clouded by fatigue, but they're warm and welcoming as usual. So Kate casts a glance at her mouth before leaning in, her leg comes up to hugs Maura's hips and keep her near. Maura slows the kiss down and acknowledges her naked thigh with her hand, leisurely makes her way up.

Maybe it isn't supposed to be excite her, but her strokes drift to her inner thigh and it does drive her mad. She moans in her mouth, but she's forced to stop her, grabs her bicep and distances herself from her soft lips.

"I'm- I don't think I can take more," she murmurs honestly, biting her lip and dropping her head on Maura's shoulder. She leaves a peck there, hides her blush against her skin. "Tomorrow?"

Maura reaches blindly for the sheet to cover them both, she smiles fondly at her but Kate doesn't see her. "Tomorrow," she just answers back.

* * *

 **TBC**


End file.
